The Most Powerful Story You’ll Hear Today Is the One That’s Already in Your Head
We all have stories we tell ourselves. They run in the background, like an internal operating system. And whether we realize it or not, they influence how we interpret what’s happening, the choices we make, and how we show up.
I learned something about the power of these stories when I was 12 years old. My room was infamously messy. My parents had been on my case to clean it up for months, but I procrastinated. It didn’t bother me, I could find what I needed, and I didn’t want to let anything go.
Narrative, watercolor and ink by Ian Mutton
So one day while I was at choir practice after school, my dad took a giant garbage bag into my room and literally wiped the slate clean. When I got home, I was shocked, but surprisingly, not angry. I liked the way my room looked, all free of clutter. It had a new sense of personality about it.
Little did I know my father kept that garbage bag in our basement for several weeks just in case I really needed something he took away. And that’s what surprised me the most: I didn’t ask for a single thing.
That experience planted a seed for a story I still believe deeply today: Sometimes moving forward requires us to let something go.
For nonprofit leaders, that might be a program that’s no longer aligned with the mission, an event that requires more than it returns, or a process that has become unnecessarily complicated.
But sometimes, what we need to let go of is a story.
Recently, I gathered a group of nonprofit leaders for our annual Mindful Leadership Mastermind Breakfast. This year’s theme was “Meeting the Moment,” and while none of us was facing the exact same circumstances, I think it’s safe to say that everyone was being stretched in some way.
Research in positive psychology shows that the stories we carry into those moments don’t only influence how we experience the present—they can also influence what happens next.
At the breakfast, we spent some time naming the stories we've absorbed about what it means to lead in this sector. Some were stories we carry collectively: Scarcity is the norm. Nonprofits aren't legitimate businesses. Burnout is normal.
Others were much more personal: I should be able to do it all. I need to be constantly exhausted to prove my value. The weight of future impact is mine alone to carry. I need to fix everything—and I need to fix it now.
These remarkably similar stories spanned different organizations and different leadership roles. And that's the thing about the stories in our heads. When we've heard them or told them to ourselves often enough, we stop recognizing them as stories. They simply start to feel true.
So think about a leadership challenge you’re facing right now. Then consider the story you’re carrying into it.
Does it deserve to shape your leadership? Even if it’s true, is it serving you?
If it doesn’t or it’s not, you can change that. At our breakfast, we practiced a simple framework for strengthening the stories we tell ourselves.
Recognize a story that is not serving you.
Reframe the story into something that’s true and empowering.
Reinforce the new story through your choices and behavior.
You can (and should) start small. Do this with one story—and know that each time you act from the new story, you’ll strengthen it.
One of the things that struck me most that morning wasn't that any particular story stood out from the others. It was how many heads nodded as each one was named.
There's power in recognizing the story in your own head. There's also power in discovering you're not the only one telling it.
What story might you need to leave behind to meet the moment in front of you?